


Call Us Joker

by kaboomz



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Bathroom Scene, Delusions, Other, Sexual Frustration, Transformation, bathroom dance, becoming, double personas, masturbation (mentioned), not exactly split personality, subway killings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:36:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21881803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaboomz/pseuds/kaboomz
Summary: The event of the subway killings, society's cruelty, and everything in between was forcing Arthur to unleashed something he never thought he'd be capable of
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Call Us Joker

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write my own version of Arthur's transformation after he shot the three Wall Street guys. I'm so fascinated by the idea of how Joaquin Phoenix improvised the bathroom dance scene and I can't help to think that it's Arthur's way of accepting his darkness and cruelty as the result of how the society treats him. Enjoy!

“Did you feel it, Arthur? Did you feel your adrenaline pumping through your veins to the point you can burst anytime soon? It’s good, isn’t it?”

The voice inside Arthur’s skull was loud and wholesome. It’s haunting and echoed throughout every muscle and neurons in his brain. Arthur felt like he couldn’t move an inch. He laid down on his back on a cold floor and everything was black. Pitch dark black.

“W-where are you?” Arthur called, scared and confused.

Suddenly a bright light shone far from where he was laying. A man in a red suit stared down at him under the bright light. He wore a make-up clown on his face. His hair was emerald green, the same length as Arthur’s raven. Arthur’s vision was a little blurry, but he could tell the clown man was smiling at him.

“Oh I am nowhere. I am you. I am inside you,” the voice replied.

Arthur was now terrified because the voice didn’t come from the man in red. He didn’t see his lips moved. The voice was indeed from inside him.

“B-but then who’s him?” Arthur pointed at the man far away.

“He’s also you. Well, not you you. But you get what I mean, right?”

The man in red made a move and walked toward Arthur. Arthur panicked because he still couldn’t move an inch. He struggled with a weak whimper.

“Please- please let me go. He’s coming.”

“Don’t be like that. He just wanted to talk to you.”

The man in red was now standing in front of Arthur’s skinny legs. He stared down at Arthur and showed him his fine yellow-ish teeth. The red paint along his lips made him looked like he’s always smiling, even though Arthur knew that’s not true. The man then tilted his head to the left without breaking his eye contact with Arthur.

“Did you like what you see?”

Arthur realized that the man in red spoke to him this whole time, but his voice was inside Arthur’s head. It’s weird and creepy because now the man in red looked like he was lip syncing to what the voice inside Arthur’s head was saying.

“I- I don’t understand. You’re inside my head but here you are, standing in front of me,” Arthur stuttered.

“Oh Arthur don’t you see? We are you. We are one.”  
The man in red get down on his knees and crawled over Arthur’s torso. Arthur’s breath hitched loudly as the man in red smelled the crook on his neck. He shut his eyes close, didn’t have the gut to look the man in red in the eyes any longer.

“You smelled nice.”

“I-I just killed three Wall Street guys. If anything, I would smell like a mess and guilt.”

The man in the red – no – the voice laughed loudly inside his brain. His laugh sounded painful and forceful, just like his. Arthur opened one of his eyes just to take a quick look if the man above him was laughing too. And he did, only without a voice.

“Good old little Arthur, still making funny jokes these days,” the voice said after his episode.

Arthur couldn’t pursed his lips to a simple smile because he couldn’t see the funny side. He’s freaking terrified for God’s sake. He usually smiled if a person was praising his punch line, but not this time. And even to begin with, he couldn’t recall who’s the last person that had praised his jokes.

“Thanks I-I guess. But what are you doing? W-why can’t I move?” he said after swallowing his saliva.

The man in red moved from Arthur’s neck to his hairline, still smelling something. He didn’t do it like some kind of dog even though his action was clearly animalistic. He did it as if he wanted to see some reaction from Arthur.

“You can move if you want. But only if you want it so bad.”

The man in red pulled his head for a moment and that’s where Arthur could really observed his face. His actual face.

The voice inside his mind was right. The man in red was indeed him. But he looked happier than Arthur. He wondered why.

“What do you mean?” Arthur replied, not realizing that he’s not stuttering any longer.

The man in red reached out and starting to unbuttoned Arthur’s old white shirt. Arthur panicked for the second time in that period of time. He struggled but nothing seemed to made an impact. His skinny legs kicking aggressively and yet the man in red didn’t seem to be bothered.

He didn’t say anything to Arthur’s question.

“What-what are you doing? Please stop.”  
Still no answers, the man in red watched Arthur’s reaction like a wolf watching its prey. He didn’t bother to look at what he was doing as if he used to unbuttoned Arthur’s shirt. As if he used to do this numerous times before. And Arthur felt something inside of him. He felt hot.

The man in red stopped halfway and Arthur somehow felt disappointed. And the voice chuckled playfully because Arthur, apparently, showed his disappointment rather physically. 

“Don’t get too excited just yet, Arthur. Let’s discuss something first.”

“Like what?” Arthur managed to speak up.

“Oh like what are you gonna do about those three Wall Street guys. What are you gonna do about it, hm?”

Arthur flashbacked at the exact time he shot those first two bullets from his handgun. Well, Randall’s to be more precise.

The feeling was so overwhelmingly exciting. It’s like something he never felt before. He was scared too, but he was not afraid of getting caught or afraid for the fact that he was just shot a living human being. No, he was afraid because he knew the bullet would eventually ran out before he feel satisfied.

When he chased the last guy on the platform, he was slowly turning into his usual self. Because he felt guilt. The guilt eventually got the best of him after he emptied the barrel. With his ears buzzing harshly, he ran.

He didn’t remember anything after that. When he woke up, he was paralyzed under the man in red that was actually him. Everything was still black except the blinding light that followed the man in red and the voice inside his head.

“I-I don’t really know. I haven’t thought about it yet,” Arthur replied truthfully.

“Were you gonna confess to the police?”

“No. Of course not, I’ll be dead if I went to the police.”

“Were you gonna kill yourself?”

That thought lingered inside Arthur’s mind for a brief moment after he shot the second man. But he remembered he decided not to proceed because he wanted something more. He never wanted something more from his life until he killed those three guys.

“I was… I was going to. But I didn’t do it. I was…”

“Yes?”

The man in red moved one of knees between Arthur’s leg and pushed it until his knee touched Arthur’s groin. Arthur’s breath stopped for a second.

“I-I was-“

The knee slowly widened Arthur’s legs. His heart was beating erratically and he wasn’t sure if it’s due to fear or excitement. He guessed both.

“I was thinking, I wanted to see how things turn out.”

“Good answer.”

Arthur felt like he was in the middle of an examination with all those questions coming from the man in red. Well, from his head. He was extremely anxious because he get the feeling he’ll get hurt if he answered the wrong question. The man was beyond unpredictable, Arthur realized.

“Do you often to touch here, Arthur?”

The man in red eyeing to Arthur’s crotch. And Arthur was dead embarrassed. Arthur haven’t got anybody in his life ever. No girlfriends, no boyfriends, no hook-ups, not one night-stands. No one. But he needed his release, so of course he touched himself from time to time. He was embarrassed at the fact he didn’t have anybody to do something like that with him. No one ever found him attractive.

“No.”

Straight answer. Fast and avoiding. Clearly a lie.

“Is that a lie?”

It was on a Thursday night the last time Arthur touched himself. He often did something like that on Thursday night. He was just staring at his ceiling, his mind wandered to nowhere. He started to slipped his hand inside his white underwear without thinking anything. His mind was actually empty. His hand stayed still for the longest time inside his underwear, before he imagined something. Not some porno he cut off from porn magazine he saw.

But a girl from the end of the hall. Sophie something.

She’s pretty, maybe the prettiest girl he ever saw. And she’s sexy too.

“No,” he answered for the second time consecutively.

“Pathetic. You can’t even lie properly. What a beautiful little fuck up you are, Artie.”

Arthur must admit that he’s vulnerable, but he hated it when someone saw him as a vulnerable being. It has something to do with his pride or his ego as a person, but he hate it when someone called him weak or pathetic. He knew that fact already, he didn’t need a reminder.

Plus this guy called him Artie. Nobody called him Artie for the sake of his feelings. It usually came out as a mockery. 

Or maybe that’s exactly his intention. Maybe that’s why he teased him sexually. Maybe it’s his way to mock of what he lack most or sensitive for. Maybe he tried to trigger something inside of Arthur.

“Stop it. I don’t want to hear another word from you. Let. Me. Go,” Arthur spoke, trying to man himself up.

The man in red laughed. This time it wasn’t loud but Arthur cringed at how it sounded on his ears. It sounded annoying, gross, and disturbing. He swore he never laughed like that in his entire life. This was entirely the man in red, not him.

“Or what? You’re gonna kill me like what you did with those three Wall Street guys?”

Arthur’s hand suddenly felt heavy. Cold metal was within his grasp and he realized it was a revolver. It looked like what Randall had gave him, but the rifle was longer. Just how he liked it. The rage was building so quickly and out of nowhere inside of him. He remembered how the same feeling took part in the subway killings. It felt so right and he felt freedom.

With the gun’s presence on his hand, he felt sure of what the man in red tried to awake inside of him. He’s now sure of what the intention that had been given to him for and what he’s about to do next.

“Yes.”

The bullet was smaller than Randall’s, but it’s somehow sharper. It shot through the man in red’s brain and over to nowhere. But maybe that’s because he pulled the trigger on a close range. The man in red’s blood felt warm and viscous on his bare skin. But that didn’t matter. The feeling was still the same; right and freeing.

With his ears ringing, Arthur stood up. He let out a small laugh because of the joy he felt to be able to stand on his feet again. Stronger, braver, and hopefully more certain. He felt great.

He then looked around, trying to searched for the man in red. He didn’t find anyone or anything. Where was he?

“Please do me justice. I want you to do justice for me,” said someone. Again, familiar voice with familiar tone.

A man in yellow jacket stood across him. Not too far, but not that close. He’s just there.

Wait. Is that…

“A-Arthur?” Arthur called, feeling weird for calling someone by his own name.

The man in yellow jacket turned around and smiled weakly. He gasped as he realized it was indeed him. The real him. The ‘him’ he stared a thousand times on the mirror each time he’s feeling weak or scared. The ‘him’ he used to know so well yet not well enough at the same time. The Arthur Fleck he knew.

“Please promise me.”

Then Arthur looked at himself. He’s the man in red now. Red trouser, red jacket, red suit. The collar on his neck felt comfortable. His turquoise shirt felt cool and weightless. He felt extremely superior despite the confusion and the surprise that keeping him like a blanket.

“What-what the fuck just happened? How- What-“

Arthur in a yellow jacket approached him and straightened his collar and waistcoat. He did it in such a careful and precise way. His hands dancing outside the fabric of his clothing. It felt like those scenes he watched on movies; a mother making sure of his child to look at his absolute best before going to school. He unconsciously smiled at the thought.

“You’re the only one who could do justice to us. I can’t,” he said still with a riddle.

“I don’t understand. What are you saying?”

“Hurt those who wronged you. Stand for yourself. Forget everything you think you knew. Do us justice.”

Arthur started to get the picture although not fully. He might have understood what ‘Arthur’ want. What the man in red want. What they both wanted.

Maybe this was all about, this weird dream. If it’s a dream, that is. Maybe it’s all leading up to this moment. Him finishing the transformation he’d never started but still happened anyway. Him becoming the person he really needed to be but haven’t got the slightest idea as how to execute it. Maybe this man in the red persona was a way of his mind to safe him from the cruelty he had been receiving.

Maybe this man in red persona was his other self that has been there all along, waiting to be unleashed on the right time.

“I’ll do you justice. I’ll do us justice. Don’t worry. I have what I need this time,” he assured. And that meant bravery, cruelty, and indifference he long so much before.

The man in yellow jacket smiled brightly. Arthur worried the smile would split his face from ear to ear at how wide his lips stretched. But he looked happy. He never knew he looked so beautiful when he’s happy.

“It’s nice to hear it from you. Don’t worry, I won’t be far. We’re still one, but this time it’s you who take the charge. Good luck, Joker.”

Joker reached for Arthur’s cheek and pulled his face into his. Their foreheads were resting against each other and it felt so safe, so warm. Joker could feel that Arthur was sobbing silently. He didn’t know why, but his guts told him it’s tears of relieve. He smiled.

“I won’t disappoint us. I promise.”

And then all seemed to fade out. Arthur was gone and everything wasn’t so black anymore. He shut his eyes and when he opened it, he’s back at the public bathroom. The green neon above him flickered erratically as he stared into the mirror. He’s back to his old self again.

Nose runny from his own blood. His make-up clown was messy and smeared. He’s back to the reality exactly after he did the subway killings and ran away.

He tilted his head a little to proved that he’s staring at his own reflection. Not just the man in red, not just Arthur Fleck. He’s making sure that his reflection was both of them. And it was.

The man in red, Arthur Fleck, anywhere in between, it didn’t matter. It’s just how his mind visualized something that needed to be born, to be created. Now he understand it fully. He’s now The Joker.

And he put a smile on that happy face.

**Author's Note:**

> So, how's that? Hope my story found its way to your liking and let me know your feedback in the comment. Thank you for reading!


End file.
